Waking Up The Maternal Goddess; Getting Pregnant – A Personal Story

*This post is part of The Pregnancy and Delivery Series. Follow Messy Mama for more information on pre-pregnancy, pre-natal and post-natal. Check back for updates.

 


 

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Although I spent most of my life knowing I was going to be a mother someday, I must admit that there was a moment when I thought I did not want kids. A very small section of time when I imagined myself as that woman who would never sacrifice her body to the Maternal Goddesses, or who would never rock my own baby to sleep. I would never need to worry about tantrums in the middle of Target, or fights with my kid about eating their dinner. I was so caught up in living my adult life: traveling and excelling in my career. I was heavily involved in animal advocacy. My life was fulfilling at that time. I did not feel the motherly calling, nor did my uterus ache at every baby cry. I was content.

Due to my dramatic and difficult childhood, I knew for certain that I did not want my children growing up the way I did: to parents who were not financially prepared nor mentally stable. My children were going to be 100% wanted and appropriately taken care of. That meant preventing pregnancies and being responsible. I’m not saying I didn’t have a few scares from a few inconvenient disasters, but I was mindful for the most part.

As my wedding day approached, I felt strongly about spending my adulthood fostering and training dogs with behavior issues, instead of changing diapers and negotiating with toddlers. I felt so strongly about this at the time that I sat my soon to be husband down and delivered the news. I told the man that I was going to marry, and who made it clear that he wanted to be a father, that I was not going to be a mother. I was so sure of this that I was willing to risk the man of my dreams walking out of our relationship. I was that certain.

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Photo Credit Niki Rossi Photography Copyright https://messymama18

Lucky for me, he stuck around, and we got married. For me, it was a relief that I did not have to worry about what the future held for us. My husband either knew me better than I thought I did, had faith that I would change my mind, or loved me so much that he was willing to throw away his dream of being a dad. Whichever it was, I refused to let it bother me at that time. The truth was, I did feel guilty for not wanting children, but I trusted the path I was on. We headed into our honeymoon without kids on our mind. We even continued to be responsible on those honeymoon nights. Instead, we focused all our energy on enjoying our time together, just the two of us.

Then it happened. That moment that changed everything. I was standing in Target, a couple of weeks after we had returned. I was looking at the handbags, trying to pick out the perfect work bag because I needed an upgrade. In the distance, a newborn baby started to wail. I didn’t immediately roll my eyes like I had done each time before. I did not wonder why the mother even bothered to drag the baby out in public. The non-parent judgments were gone. I didn’t feel that surge of annoyance that usually rushed through my body. Instead, I felt my heart ache and my usually quiet uterus throb. It was awake, and it was sending me baby signals so hard that I zombie-walked to the baby section. Before I knew it, I was gushing over newborn sleeper onesies, little bows, and tiny shoes.

My inner Maternal Goddess had awoken! I am not sure why she decided to wake up in that moment. Maybe she knew I was at a point in my life where I was ready to be the mother I had always wanted to be. Maybe the world was ready to pair me with my beautiful and perfect little soul. It was time. I knew it, my brain knew, my body knew it, and the universe knew it. Everything aligned in it’s beautiful wonder and it was sending me uncontrollable urges to reproduce.

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When my husband got home that evening, I did not hesitate to retract my no children statement. I could see the excitement and relief in his eyes. We both said that we were not going to jump into it and if it happened it happened. Yet, we both knew that was not the case. We jumped so hard into the baby making process that I was on full track obsessive mode by four months in.

What started as full confidence in not wanting children, transformed into pure heartache as my empty uterus continued on, month after month. My maternal urge had been so strong and had transformed so fast. My kid-less fantasy turned into torture with every negative pregnancy test. The disappointment became so overwhelming.

After nine months of trying, my broken heart gave up. I needed a break from the downward spiral. My husband and I busied ourselves with work, and I dived harder into my volunteering. The dog that I had spent so long trying to socialize and train was so close to finally getting adopted, so I spent all my energy on him.

I went out with friends and spent time with family. My husband and I enjoyed each other’s company with date nights and day trips. I had also just lost my childhood dog to a massive destructive disease. I was devastated and my mind was elsewhere.

Some mothers say they know exactly when they became pregnant. I have read miracle stories of mothers who can pinpoint the exact moment, or somehow, in a beautiful instance of tranquility they just knew they were pregnant.

When we had been actively trying, my husband told me that he had read something that stated when the sperm connected with the egg, it made an actual spark within the teeny tiny crevasse of the uterus. Like if you could see it with a naked eye, it would be this glorious thing to observe.

That thought flooded my head the moment I knew. Some say that I am crazy but I feel like I felt that spark, deep within. I felt it on my way to work as I was waiting on a red light. As the light turned green, deep in my soul I knew my long journey was over and a new one was just about to begin.

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Copyright 2017 Messy Mama https://messymama18.com

About a week later, I felt the symptoms. I was so unbelievably bloated and crampy. As someone who suffers from IBS, I knew this wasn’t a traditional unsteady bowel moment. This lasted for days and I knew it was different. Something was happening inside my body. Cells were dividing into a beautiful little embryo that was going to make me a mother.

On the 4th of July, feeling awful, I debated between going to the hospital or taking a pregnancy test. I decided the latter. I sat in the bathroom with my test hidden under a towel. I already knew the answer this time. This time I was sure. I watched my phone count down the two minutes as I began to wonder what my new life was going to be like. My eyes filled up with tears before I even picked up the test. My phone alarm buzzed as I reached under the towel. I slid the stick out from under it’s hiding place and I covered my mouth to keep in the shrieks. My husband sat in the next room, unaware of what was happening on the other side of the wall. Unaware that his whole life was about to change.

We were going to be parents.

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Copyright 2017 Messy Mama https://messymama18.com

 


 

Continue to follow my Pregnancy and Delivery Series at www.messymama18.com.

 

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*Disclaimer – Statements made in this post are of my own opinions, views and thoughts. I am not a professional and should not be regarded as such.

*This work, along with it’s images, as well as other posts published by Messy Mama, are protected by copyright laws.

Copyright © Messy Mama 2019 https://messymama18.com

Ovulation Tracking With Basal Temperature

*This post is part of The Pregnancy and Delivery Series. Follow Messy Mama for more information on pre-pregnancy, pre-natal and post-natal. Check back for updates.


 

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You have decided to become a mother. Congratulations on making the biggest decision ever. You want to build and grow a human, then give birth to your greatest challenge yet. Parenting isn’t easy, and for many women, neither is getting pregnant. It may be an easy process or it could be a difficult one. So where do you begin.?

For starters, you should visit your doctor and get a preconception check up to see if your body is ready for pregnancy.

Then, you should prepare your baby’s future living quarters for a healthy and nutritious living space. It’s also a great time to get to know your body and how it works.

If you are currently trying to get pregnant, tracking your ovulation could be a great start. There are different ways you can do that.

You could track your ovulation with an ovulation tester. These can pinpoint your exact ovulation period, and even the day of ovulation.

You could utilize your discharge to track when you are most fertile.

Another way to track your ovulation is by charting your basal body temperature.

What is a Basal Temperature

A basal body temperature is the temperature you have when your body is at rest. This means right when you wake up, after your body has been motionless for a few hours.

How Does Your Basal Temperature Detect Your Ovulation

Your temperature can be effected by a number of things: whether you’ve consumed alcohol, when you are ill, when you are stressed, and when you are not sleeping well.

The hormone change within your body can also affect your temperature. Throughout your cycle, your temperature fluctuates. In the beginning of your cycle, it is low, or more towards your average temperature. When you ovulate, your temperature will spike a few degrees. Your temperature may also drop significantly right before you are about to ovulate.

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How To Track Basal Body Temperature.

You can track your temperature with a Basal Thermometer. A Basal thermometer looks just like a regular digital thermometer but is more accurate in reading your temperature.

Use a chart to record your temperature throughout your cycle. Your cycle begins the first day of your period. Track from this day until your next period. Check your temperature each morning before you get out of bed and then record it on a Basal Body Temperature Chart.

Here is an example of a charted basal body temperature:

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Tracking your basal body temperature may also detect early pregnancy. Normally, when you are about to get your period, or when your cycle is supposed to end, your temperature will drop right before your period arrives. If you are pregnant, your temperature may rise at the end of your cycle.

Let’s look at the same chart with a possible pregnancy temperature increase:

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My Ovulation Chart

If you are interested in tracking your own temperature, check our this free My Ovulation Chart Printable.

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You can track your ovulation cycle and add any key information. For example, if you got sick, what days you may have ovulated, what days you had your period, and any other information you feel like adding.

Feel free to print this out for your self. Make a few copies, as you should track your basal body temperature for a few months before determining your cycle.

Tacking:
• Take your temperature with your Basal Thermometer
• Record the temperature in the chart.
• Do this for a few months to determine the pattern of ovulation.

Example
Here is an example of how I tracked my ovulation:

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For more information on tracking your Basal Body Temperature, check out the following:

Basal Charting

What’s The Temperature Method

Track Ovulation


 

Continue to follow my Pregnancy and Delivery Series at www.messymama18.com.

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*Disclaimer – Statements made in this post are of my own opinions, views and thoughts. I am not a professional and should not be regarded as such.

*This work, along with it’s images, as well as other posts published by Messy Mama, are protected by copyright laws.

Copyright © Messy Mama 2019 https://messymama18.com

Preconception Doctor Visit; What You Need To Know

*This post is part of The Pregnancy and Delivery Series. Follow Messy Mama for more information on pre-pregnancy, pre-natal and post-natal. Check back for updates.


 

If you have decided to get pregnant, then one of the very first things you should do is schedule a Preconception Visit with your OBGYN. Why?

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Why Should You Schedule A Preconception Checkup?

You may not be thinking beyond the getting busy part when it comes to the making step of baby planning, but there’s actually a lot more that goes into preparing to get pregnant.

Our health, for starters, plays a huge factor in the development and nourishment of our little growing fetus. It can also determine the type of pregnancy we have. Any genetic issues could be passed down to our offspring. We may have an abnormality that could deter us from becoming pregnant. Certain medications could effect the health of our child. All of these potential risks are discussed during your visit with your OBGYN

Another important reason, you’re about to spend a lot more time with your OBGYN.

If you choose to have your baby delivered by your OBGYN, your relationship with your doctor will blossom beyond the regular pap smear. From your initial pregnancy test, to labor, you will be seeing an awful lot of him or her. A preconception screening is a perfect time to talk to your doctor about any questions you may have in regards to pregnancy check-ups, potential birth plans, and delivery options. That way, you and your OBGYN are both using the same map during the entire ride.

What To Expect During A Visit

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During your visit, you get a regular exam if you have not had one recently. They may conduct other test to check for abnormalities. After, your doctor will sit with you, possibly go over your health records, ask you about your family history and may even discuss your mental health with you. Bring a list of questions to your visit and don’t be afraid to spend some time with your doctor discussing any issues or concerns you may have. The preconception visit is the perfect time to put everything out on the table.

  • Regular OBGYN visit Exam
  • Tests / Screening
  • Health History / Family History
  •  Travel History

Regular Exam

Like any regular OBGYN exam, you will get a pap smear, a breast exam, an abdomen exam and they’ll check your blood pressure. Your doctor may also check your weight to keep track of how much you will gain during your pregnancy.

Tests / Screening

You’re doctor may decide to test your blood and urine for any infections or diseases that could effect your pregnancy. You can ask your doctor about genetic screening tests to see if you are a carrier of any diseases.

Health Questions

After the exam, your doctor may go over your records with you or discuss your health history. They may ask about your diet and exercise, current health conditions, what medications you are taking, any past pregnancies you may have had, and may even discuss your mental health with you. They may also discuss you immunization records and suggest any vaccines to prepare for your pregnancy.

If you haven’t discussed it with them already, your doctor will talk about your family history and if any diseases or illnesses run in your family.

Travel

You doctor may ask you about your travel history or if you plan on traveling in the future. If you traveled anywhere where the Zika virus has been discovered it could be fatal.

Although not as dangerous for adults, the virus can be deadly to an unborn baby. If you recently traveled to a country where the virus is, your doctor may suggest you get tested before conceiving.

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Wrap Up

Don’t forget to ask your doctor about any questions you may have regarding your fertility, future pregnancy, and delivery.

Your doctor may suggest that you start taking a prenatal vitamin which is packed with Folic Acid. A good source of nutrition for your future bean.

Before you leave, your doctor may give you a book about conception and pregnancy. If they don’t, you may want to go and pick one up. Keep it by your bed and read a little each night. This book will be your guide for the next few years.


 

Continue to follow my Pregnancy and Delivery Series at www.messymama18.com.

 

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*Disclaimer – Statements made in this post are of my own opinions, views and thoughts. I am not a professional and should not be regarded as such.

*This work, along with it’s images, as well as other posts published by Messy Mama, are protected by copyright laws.

Copyright © Messy Mama 2019 https://messymama18.com

Preparing For Pregnancy

You have decided to jump off the deep end. You have decided that you are going to see what the hype is all about. You are going to embark into the magical journey of parenthood. You are going to try to have a baby.

So where do you begin? How do you prepare for pregnancy?

First, you should get to know that body that is going to build and house your future little one. Then, it’s time to prepare the living quarters for a smooth and gentle stay.

Here’s where to start:

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Get to Know Your Body

Before you jump on the obsessive train, let me be clear – This is not an invitation to stress out. This is an intervention. When was the last time you did some hardcore research on how your own body works. I’m not talking about the female body in general, I am talking about YOUR body specifically. I know what you’re thinking, “Crazy lady, I know my body! I look at it everyday!” I am going to go out on a limb and say you are wrong. Don’t dismiss me just yet, let me explain.

Maybe you know what the ovary and uterus section looks like from all those pictures hanging up at your OBGYN’s office. You assume yours is probably the same. Maybe, but maybe not. Just like you are unique, so is your uterus, girlfriend. It’s time to become best friends with it.

Here are a few tools to help you investigate your ram looking lady friend:

Ovulation Tracker: – You can find pretty much any type of ovulation tracker by punching in “Ovulation Tracker” in your app store, on your phone. I suggest you down load a few of them. Explore them, get to know them, utilize them for a little bit and you’ll find one that works best for you. Here are a few that I found:

  • Ovia Fertility and Cycle Tracking
  • Flo Period
  • Clue Period
  • Glow Cycle and Fertility Tracker

There are many options, so choose one that works best for you.

Using the Ovulation Tracker includes a lot of self investigation. So, let’s talk about lady leakage. “Gross!” Get use to it sister, because you are going to spend a lot of time getting to know all about it.

Your discharge will help you calculate your cycle. Seriously? Yes! Did you even notice that it changes?  Or maybe you did notice and you have been wondering your whole life why your body is so weird? Well, turns out your pretty normal, and all that weird leaking is just your body communicating with you. Here is a brief description of what your different discharge could mean:

  • Clear and Stretchy: If it looks like shampoo or egg yolk then you’ve hoped aboard the ovulation train. In other words, one of your eggs has dropped and is available for fertilization. This is the best time to get pregnant.
  • White: Thick and white discharge is normal at the beginning of your menstrual cycle and at the end. It’s a good indicator that you are beginning or ending your cycle.
  • Clear and watery: This is basically your normal vag juice, and is there to keep you clean and healthy. You can have this discharge any time during your cycle.

(For more information on you lady liquids, check out ModernFertility.com)

Basal Body Temperature – Another way to track your cycle is by tracking your Basal Temperature – the temperature when your body is at rest. Tracking your basal body temperature when you first wake up in the morning can help you determine where you are in your menstrual cycle. Your temperature will slightly increase right after you ovulate. After a few months of tracking and recording, you may be able to predict when you are about to ovulate. You can pick up a basal body thermometer at any pharmacy. It is probably best to use a specific basal thermometer because they are more accurate.

(For more information on Basal Body Temperature and how to track it, visit EarlyPregnancyTests.com)

Ovulation Tests: Another way to track when you are ovulating is by purchasing an Ovulation Test that will tell you if you are currently ovulating. Some are even good at telling you both your Ovulation window and days of ovulation.

Preparing Your Body

We don’t really think about how much work goes into preparing for a baby. Should you have to prepare your body? Can’t you just get to it? Well, put it this way, you know the rage cleaning you do right before you have a guest come to your home? It’s like that.

Not only will you have a guest staying in your uterus for nine months, but your body, and what you put into it, will be a major resource for your baby’s health and development. What is in your body will go to our baby, so it’s important to clean up shop and maintain a healthy environment for your little one to grow.

Here’s how you should prepare your BabyBnB:

Cut Back On Caffeine / Alcohol

You don’t have to remove them from your diet completely. Caffeine and alcohol can be dangerous for your growing baby, so if you are actively trying to get pregnant, you don’t want a ton of it in your system when your little guest finally arrives.

Eat Healthy

Pack your body full of yummy nutrients so it’s the first thing your baby absorbs when she/he makes their grand entrance. Your guest is going to depend on you for meals, so be considerate when you break into your next snack. I’m not suggesting you eat straight kale and chickpeas, god no! Just make “healthy” a part of the meal plan option.

Exercise

It’s time to hit the gym, the pavement, the mat! It’s time to give your body some love so that it can love your baby.

What ever you do, don’t decide you are going to plan a marathon if you are not already running regularly. Stay within your limits while you are trying to conceive. Pushing yourself too hard could put stress on your body, making it harder to get pregnant, or effect the baby if you do become pregnant. DO – workout regularly, DON’T – overdue it.

Take A Prenatal

A good way to prepare your body, and get all the proper nutrients for your little one, is by taking a prenatal. Yes, even before you become pregnant. A Prenatal vitamin is packed with folic acid, an important vitamin for your baby. Your body will be ready and your baby will have everything they need right at Move-In day.

Go See Your OBGYN

If you’re ready to get pregnant, start with an expert. Your lady-parts specialist will know all the in’s and out’s on preparing yourself for a house guest. Ask them about your body, discuss your family history and any concerns you may have, and talk to them about what you need to expect. Your doctor will check to see if there are any external concerns, give you the ok, and possibly give you a pregnancy book that you’re going to obsess over for the next year.

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Don’t Stress Out About It

Yes, if you’d like to understand your body a little better and create a cozy living space for your future guest, getting prepared is a good start. Don’t, however, obsess about it. If you find yourself consumed in your ovulation tracker, wondering why you haven’t gotten pregnant, or scoring the internet for the best get pregnant quick diets, than you need to take a step back. Use this time to get to know yourself a little better, spend sometime with yourself and your partner before becoming consumed by parenthood.

Getting pregnant can take two seconds(realistically, more like 3 days), but it can also take three years. Take your journey seriously and enjoy your last days childless. Before you know it, you’ll be losing sleep and changing diapers. All worth it, of course.

If you have any concerns about your fertility, don’t be afraid to discuss it with your doctor.

 


 

Continue to follow my Pregnancy and Delivery Series at www.messymama18.com.

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*Disclaimer – Statements made in this post are of my own opinions, views and thoughts. I am not a professional and should not be regarded as such.

*This work, along with it’s images, as well as other posts published by Messy Mama, are protected by copyright laws.

Copyright © Messy Mama 2019 https://messymama18.com

So, You Want To Be A Mother.

Warning: This post discusses the difficulties of becoming pregnant and contains sensitive content. If you are currently struggling with trying to become a mother, please be advised that this post could be difficult to read.

 


 

I know why you’re here. I was sitting in the same spot you were, just a few years ago. Scoring the internet for tips and advice. Scared. Nervous. Incredibly excited. Was I ready to do this? Was I about to jump into the deep end and emerge into a whole new life? Was I ready to be a mother?

So maybe you had the conversation with your partner. The infamous, “Let’s have a baby!” Maybe you both went back and forth. Maybe you thought, “Now isn’t a good time.” “Is it a good time?” “Will it ever, truly, be the right time.” The answer is always no. You think you’re ready, but you’re not. You’re not ready. Then suddenly, you are. The truth is, you can never truly prepare yourself for what you are about to do. There is no proper ‘travel guide’ for the life of a parent, but we jump into it anyway. Most of the time, it works out just fine.

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Copyright 2019 Messy Mama

If you have made the final decision to go for it, let’s slow it down for a minute and chat. Mother to future mother. Woman to woman. The journey, before the actual ride. could be quite frustrating, and I want to prepare you for that.

You’re here because you want to do this right! You want to know all the ‘should do’s’ and ‘must do’s’ before taking the plunge. You want to prepare yourself, and your future little bean. You want to check all the boxes and complete all the steps. You want a healthy little bundle at the end of this, so you’re about to jump on the obsessive baby making train.

Before you jump into doctor appointments, tracking apps, thermometers, calendars and little red dots. Before you dive into books and internet articles on tips and tricks. Before you invest in pregnancy tests and ovulation trackers. Before you start to wander the baby isle of Target, I need you to take a breath. What I am about to tell you will shatter your thoughts and exited ideas of how you see your life going in the next year or so.

Maybe you’ll get lucky on your first try. Maybe it will be as easy as 1,2,3…. and baby. Maybe you’re dreams will come true and you will have everything you ever wanted in just one shot. There’s also a good chance you won’t. There’s a good chance you’ll end up breaking your own heart quite a few times in this journey to be a mother. So, before you dive in, just take a moment to breathe.

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This next chapter you are about to jump into could be a difficult one. It could be a long one. It could be frustrating, and it could be devastating. You could end up with a thousand no’s before you finally get a yes. You could win only to find out that you lost. You could break your heart a thousand times, desperate to fill your heart with that empty need you yearn for. Your dreams of mothering that perfect little bundle of magic could crash and burn.

Your first ride could be your longest one. It could the your hardest one. It could be the most painful. It could also be the most beautiful one. Yes, it’s true. Nothing works out quite like we plan. Yet, when it finally happens, you will cry, you will laugh, you will celebrate, and you will love so very much.

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Copyright 2019 Messy Mama

When my child was born, I had a realization. Specific genes came together at a specific time and built a uniquely beautiful little creature. Different sets of organisms can be paired into a billion different combinations. Each child in a home is built so different then that of their own siblings. That means, my little beauty was pieced together in account to the time, and combination of cells. If I had gotten pregnant sooner or later, I would have been blessed with a completely different child than the one I am currently raising today. That thought is wonderful and magical and makes me so incredibly thankful.

Timing is everything, events are everything. The journey is truly everything. Your baby will come to you the way that he or she is meant to, at the time they are meant to. Life, regardless of how, will bring the two of you together in such a beautiful and magical way. The path to one another will change you, it will humble you, and it will strengthen you. It will be the wheel that generates a path that will turn you into the mother you were meant to be. If you truly desire to be a mother, you will be. Embrace and love the road you take to get there.

Good luck, Mama, and when you finally welcome your tiny miracle, I hope you find your way back to me. I would love to hear all about your story.

 

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*Disclaimer – Statements made in this post are of my own opinions, views and thoughts. I am not a professional and should not be regarded as such.

*This work, along with it’s images, as well as other posts published by Messy Mama, are protected by copyright laws.

Copyright © Messy Mama 2019 https://messymama18.com