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Morning Coffee Thoughts

The first time we get whacked in the face by our toddler, we are thrown off guard and are completely surprised. How could our sweet, innocent, adorable little mini human act so devilish. We take it personally, don’t we? Firstly, we’re like, “I’ve never taught them that? Why would they just to that?” Like we failed at parenting. Secondly, we are furious that our child would dare reach across the child – to – parent boundary and have the nerve to violate us.

The truth is, most parents are aware that children just don’t have the mental strength to express their emotions appropriately. Unfortunately, we are our children’s personal punching bag as they navigate through their emotions. Welcome to parenthood!

We know this, yet that doesn’t stop us from letting our ego take over when we feel the sting from that tiny hand. Grab a cup of coffee, take a seat, and let’s discuss Slapping Toddlers and the 5 Stages of Parent Guilt, on this edition of Morning Coffee Thoughts.

5 Stages of Parent Guilt When Slapped by Our Toddler



When we are slapped by our minion, the first response is shock. Regardless if it’s the first time or the 100th time, we are thrown off guard when our child hauls off and open hands us across the face. We refuse to accept that this tiny creature could muster up the courage to cross the threshold of violence. We feel hurt and betrayed.


The hurt transforms into anger and we take their reaction personal. We allow our instincts to take over and our ego is bruised. “How dare they,” we proclaim. “I am the parent,” we tell ourselves. “This child has disrespected me.” Once the hurt subsides into anger, we may contemplate retaliation. Yes, I said it. We may, for just a second, think that we have to return the act, and put this defiant creature in their place.


Once the anger settles and we move toward reasonable thinking, we question our parenting. “Am I a bad parent?” we may ask ourselves. We wonder if we are raising a bratty, and disrespectful child. Are we doomed? You may comb through the last year or so, and try to pinpoint where you went wrong.



Guilt grows and it eats away at us. We assume we are shitty parents and we begin to seek out advice from anyone and everybody who has an idea. Panic rolls through us as we worry that we created the next serial killer. We resort to parenting books and we try every tip. Each time an attempt fails, we fall deeper and deeper into our hole.


Finally, we realize that our child’s behavior is actually pretty normal. Realistically, they have only been on the planet for a short period of time; they are just expressing themselves through instinct, and less through logic. They will learn how to properly express themselves as they get older. The truth is, toddlers are just assholes, and you’re not a shitty parent.

Keep your head up! You’re slap happy toddler may not have the self control to know better just yet, but hopefully your understanding of the situation will help you model proper behavior. In the meant time, maybe you should get a helmet?


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